FIRST IMPRESSION

The historians claim the first and second waves of punk had gone completely to shit when the clock struck 1990, and that the third wave (or fourth, depending on how you count waves) hadn't yet kicked into high gear by 1991. I had a conversation last night (shouting match really, over blaring ironic soul music and top shelf whiskey) with a pal who has long contended that punk died in 1986, while I keep trying to convince him (we've had this conversation several times over the last 15 or so years) that he only thinks it died because he stopped going to punk and hardcore shows and started listening to MORBID ANGEL. The point is (...as if I can ever really get to the point, but surely you - dear follower - have realized that by now...) - there's a pretty notoriously dry spell from 198something to 199something filled with a heap of bands trying to recreate the glory and spontaneity of early punk and hardcore - and failing miserably. But there's diamonds mixed in with all that crap, you just need to start wading. Maybe FIRST IMPRESSION aren't a diamond...but their mid tempo deliberately plodding UK punk rates at least a cubic zirconia and I think that most of these songs would be straight up killers with a few minor tweaks. I guess that tweaks are out of the question for this 20 year old cassette, so blast these tunes and join me for some creative mental editing to make these songs the classics that they almost were. 

FIRST THINGS FIRST

CHRIST ON PARADE

No introduction required here, just bombastic and furious Bay Area hardcore from 1985. The drums are loose and packed with face melting power, and the guitars pick frantically. The geographical influences are obvious in this early version of CHRIST ON PARADE - this demo sounds like the first 12" releases by DRI, CRUCIFIX and MDC all jammed onto the same tape over one another. Some of these songs later appeared on the A Mind Is A Terrible Thing and Sounds Of Nature LPs, but I'm not sure anything can match the awkward teenage power of this demo.

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

RANDOM AXE OF TERROR

Listen to the riffs cranked out by these Michigan thrashers and relish in raging thrashcore insanity with tasty breakdowns, but feel that high end distorted guitar pierce your fragile and weary eardrums and wince every time the crash cymbal hisses through your temples.... aaahhh, glorious Noise Punk, it must be Monday!! Heavy japanese 'core influence, especially on the drums, with early '00 fastcore song structures, and it's hard to tell if the noisy end product is due more to intent or lack of resources, but the vocals are terrifying, and the extraneous noise ramps up the ferocitometer until everything is pegged in the red. What better way to start the week than with 8 minutes of government hating punk loving noise laden rippers circa 2003? I couldn't think of one either, so get into some Detroit style Howling Punk Oblivion.

THE KIDS ARE ALL FUCKED

PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES

Chicago 1990s chaotic hardcore seems to be synonymous with that band named after the Death Wish dude, but I think of bands like MY LAI, DANGER MOUSE and PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES. While demos from the first two are in store for the future, this Sunday is a ten song scorcher from PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES - perhaps 9 of the angriest minutes I've shared on The Escape. Insane powerviolence/ grind/hardcore insanity...it might not be recorded as well as a modern day incarnation of the same animal, but I challenge any and all current bands to match their careless fukking fury. I suggest putting on your "getting my ass blown out" pants on before listening to this, and if you don't have the means to listen loudly, then don't bother.

PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES

BORN DEAD ICONS

One of my favorite bands of the '00s - and some of the best punks I've ever met.

NEW SCREAM INDUSTRY

LIVE NERVE

Live mix tape glory for your early fall Friday. GRUNTMUSCLE is the only band that I had even heard of before this tape, so get ready to tuck into some random jams from some late '80s rockers from New Zealand (I think that's where the tape is from, and I am open to correction and/or confirmation). BIG ED'S USED FARM sound kinda off kilter with a really clean guitar - sounds like Jasper Thread (DEAD MILKMEN) playing for THE FALL and I kinda like it, but I'm glad there are only a few songs. MORAL FIBRE are more straight up UK punk, fast and catchy with great bass lines (especially "Black + White"), while DODGE WEIRDOS slog through a plodding bass heavy 4 minute dirge. In case that wasn't odd enough, THE STRAP-ONS spend twice as much time making three times the racket on "Do You Swallow Cum?," which is art/noise/improv weirdness at it's finest. NERVOSO close out the first side with two raw rippers - sounds like they might have been a pretty basic female fronted UK styled punk outfit, but this live treatment makes them sound absolutely fierce. The flip side starts with STENCH THERAPY, who are pretty awful. I mean awful as in they sound like shit, but I kinda think it rules. More NERVOSO and BIG ED'S USED FARM (seriously, what the fuck were they thinking with that name?), raw snarling madness from GORSE, and the aforementioned GRUNTMUSCLE wrap up the tape (slow and noisy, like FLIPPER delivered by arty post punks). The sound quality ranges from satisfactory to really noisy, so prepare your ears for a serious workout.

LIVE NERVE

THE OBSCENE FEMALES

I prefer their tracks on Thrasher The Cat's Faves, but "(She Looks Like A) Giraffe" is such a gloriously random combination of mid '80s LA punk and driving Riot City gone cock rock UK shits...think later G.B.H. with the technical proficiency of early TRANSISTORS, add cocaine and viola!: THE OBSCENE FEMALES! The one lesson that I took from this tape: IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T LOVE IT - JUST KEEP LISTENING. And now I think this shit is great, even though I will go to sleep with visions of the guitarist shoving his whammy bar up Meg Whitman's kiester...not because the music is bad, but rather that she is bad. But if he wrapped the whammy bar in money, would she really be that bummed?

OOH,  MY BELLY